Melihat Mu Dari Jauh

Lembar Tersisa

Entah kenapa harus meneteskan air mata buatmu, selama bersamamu aku nggak pernah menangis, kenapa disaat melihat kau dengan dia rasanya lemah dan ingin menangis saja. Aku ingin kita dekat walaupun kita seperti tidak mungkin bersatu. Aku tidak dapat membayangkan, jika aku merasakan apa yang pernah kamu rasakan, karena perbuatanku. Maaaaff, aku sedih, semoga kamu dapat yang terbaik dan doakan aku juga supaya semuanya yang terbaik.

Merindukan mu.

Left Not Means Say Goodbye

Three months had passed, I feel free though bound by guilt. The fear that eats away at my mind almost made ​​me endlessly blame myself. Already a lot of heartache, a lot of anger that has been created with this attitude. Increasingly can not dammed intention to leave, leave it all even though it will have consequences. Important things are the responsibility of living simply could not seem in control again what he thinks and what he felt. But I admit, I found myself peppered humans that need to be whole human beings and behave in noble.

I’m begging, do not remind me about it, I've keep inside, go not to say goodbye, but went to look for a better way from my feeling now. I've been trying, but it seems I just tortured myself with the dreams of others, please let it be, actually I was tortured by this decision, but I had to choose, because this is the best for now. Any twists my mind and reveal the promise of view I've ever spoken there, let me responsible for all this, keep in flying, it is our hope.

Basically it's all good, but we can not have it all though almost touching all that is in us. Walk through what we've been building it may be successful eventually, but will be simply to convey the dreams and responsibilities. But we need to know do not always focused on the one hand, because the other side is still open so wide that can go through to achieve a glorious thing to be able to find true of your life.

Where I once stood with you, I'd declare it a best thing that ever happened to me, I can choose it here also because I never knew you. Many view that made ​​me choose where I deserve to stand. that's where I could see my side now. I will never regret to know you hope your anger now, change to a pride in which when you've changed someone's life.

You know when I took this decision, how tormented me, until all my around bored with all my questions with all my anxiety. What should I do. Actually, what I saw on you , I've seen before in my mind, but even then should be passed on let it all better.Now I'm here, felt I was the worst here, not feeling dropped and dignity, but it's true. But still there is a very promising hope makes me have to keep trying and tough to keep stepping forward. Sometime come like a miracle in a day I never guess, some advises, some hunger, make my feeling flown away .

Here too I've built my world within this world, my life, my dreams. Little by little I began to follow the thoughts of people who are around me. And I have to like them, how to work, knowledge, way of thinking, their world and even the same goals with them. And even then not as easy as I stated my goal that they have achieved up to a dozen years and if I also have a dozen years in this place?is it will be with their current position?

The past three days I left work at 10 until 12, I want to learn english because I'm really sure if I tried, I would be. Yeah right, I could. When I cook breakfast this morning, I was able to understand the programs that exist in the national geography normally fluent english. Hopefully I can last until I can be myself a genuine, energetic , loveable and confident.

Berhenti Sejenak

Diterima di perusahaan ini membuat aku seperti bermimpi, dari semua proses yang kujalani membuat aku bisa menjadi karyawan disini.

Mencoba Tuk di sebuah Sisi Kemiskinan

Adakah orang yang ingin berada dalam kemisikinan, ketika mereka sudah merasakan sebuah kehidupan yang sudah terpenuhi? Semua orang mengejar mimpi supaya terhindar yang namanya menderita, miskin, serba kekurangan? Tapi mengapa, ada beberapa orang yang meninggalkan kemewahan , untuk hidup membiara, hidup berpetualang dan traveling. Mereka sebenarnya ingin menemukan apa?. Manusia bahkan takut kehilangan sesuatu yang dimilikinya tiba-tiba hilang , bahkan bisa mengalami depresi yang sangat dalam dan bisa merugikan secara jasmani dan rohani.

Hidup yang kita miliki sekarang adalah hidup yang biasa dan kita hanya sebagai follower/pengikut yang hanya meniru, tanpa suatu rintisan yang belum diketahui siapa pun.

Up to the end of year 2010

At 24 December 2010, God come to see me, when I lie down weak and cry. Why this attemp come when I want happiness come at merry cristmas. I can't sleep, I can't sit, I can't stand with well. 25 Desember 2010 I m cry in empty room with rentetan cupboard and a bad. Why this night so bad, why so hurt my body,, I never feel like this, so suddenlly, and so kill my mind. I watch the night along the time until morning, I hear the wind in my stomach make so sick, move on around my stomach can,t put out. Im confuse, I can't do anything else, my hp low bad. At the night my sister promise will come to see me, I wait but nothing, So clearly When I was sleep, when my blanket I put on my head , but my eye still can see a women come like my sister open the door and directly to the coupbord I think. But in my heart, ok my sister come, around aquarter I wait she speak but nothing. I open the blanket at my head, I see nobody at my room. But in mind, so clearly and so sure I see her but from her back. I wake up, I look for her at all the room but no one.

Along the time I lie at my bad, I can't eat anything cause immedietly put out. I feel my stomach empty I buy some food and I eat a beat, I haven't appatite.

When I write this, 30/12/2010, my tear fall so deep, I never imagine like thi before. Im whole life, it's very seldem to me for sick. If I fill a bit sick or another I m directly look for madcine at the market and in my bag alway there some madcine for headache and pack all my body and sleep. At the morning I can feel free and fress.

After holiday at campus, Im so sad, I can't borrow some book cause the holiday, I look for Ms Visio, can't find also, I said to my friend. Im comfuse in this room, I can't do anything, what I will do, Everything I want , I can't get. At the holiday I m sleeping so quickly cause of that.And so the illness come to do, what it want for me.

The illness come without say, without permission, so do I , this illness make me so consider and remember me , always care to my body, and always do anything, no lazy, don't hurt anybody, make more peace aroud you. Have a high dream, more creatifly, hear another so much until finish so u can say what do you want. Never care how look down people see u, cause you are the decision of all and God give it to You special one.

Healing the World

Why so difficult to follow you, everyone have known about You, but why they just call you but they can't follow You. Everything had written at bibel about life. Whole the world everytime mention Your name, but believe in doubt. Now religion just to be a symbol for another to know, same with who was'nt religion. Most in this worl more peace compare with who were in religion. The bad event now it's religion.Everyone say, My Religion The Truth. Didn't care who to be the victim. The happier if out the religion in suppering, in sadness.

What's to be the meaning of Religion

If Tomorrow still my mine

I want to know about the world, the international society, the social life, and also i was a child in my town, Im so familar with foreigner came to my village for tourism. There was I think so kind for us and gave us candys with my friend. It was I'm just a child and can't speak english and just body language. But some area in my village so fluent to spoken in english but they can't to write, just to saying.

One of my ambision after graduate at Feb'11, I want to continue my study to outside of Indonesia. All the time I think, how can I go there? School in out of Indonesia is a big expenses. From last October 2010 I also make plan until 2013, I must finished my study from abroad. At the planning I must fluent at English speaking and grammar. Everytime I read English books, english audios and English Structur.

I have also a great ambition, after I gradute from there, I believe I have more capasity for my self and able to make a bisnis and I can help sosiety to get education. Because I think a poor population come from lazy population and haven't education to make themself to be better.

Now I leave at labourer area, I feel so sad to see the life of society here, but what can I do, I dont have strong enough to help them because I'm still college and work to fill my necessity and pay school fee.

Actually I want to know everything, but get a problem with money, I dont have money to get all I want to know. The willing in my heart so high to get better and succes. In my mind people can succes cause they know much, no fear for fail, have a big capasity and have so many friends.

Ellis Veronika Sitinjak