At 24 December 2010, God come to see me, when I lie down weak and cry. Why this attemp come when I want happiness come at merry cristmas. I can't sleep, I can't sit, I can't stand with well. 25 Desember 2010 I m cry in empty room with rentetan cupboard and a bad. Why this night so bad, why so hurt my body,, I never feel like this, so suddenlly, and so kill my mind. I watch the night along the time until morning, I hear the wind in my stomach make so sick, move on around my stomach can,t put out. Im confuse, I can't do anything else, my hp low bad. At the night my sister promise will come to see me, I wait but nothing, So clearly When I was sleep, when my blanket I put on my head , but my eye still can see a women come like my sister open the door and directly to the coupbord I think. But in my heart, ok my sister come, around aquarter I wait she speak but nothing. I open the blanket at my head, I see nobody at my room. But in mind, so clearly and so sure I see her but from her back. I wake up, I look for her at all the room but no one.
Along the time I lie at my bad, I can't eat anything cause immedietly put out. I feel my stomach empty I buy some food and I eat a beat, I haven't appatite.
When I write this, 30/12/2010, my tear fall so deep, I never imagine like thi before. Im whole life, it's very seldem to me for sick. If I fill a bit sick or another I m directly look for madcine at the market and in my bag alway there some madcine for headache and pack all my body and sleep. At the morning I can feel free and fress.
After holiday at campus, Im so sad, I can't borrow some book cause the holiday, I look for Ms Visio, can't find also, I said to my friend. Im comfuse in this room, I can't do anything, what I will do, Everything I want , I can't get. At the holiday I m sleeping so quickly cause of that.And so the illness come to do, what it want for me.
The illness come without say, without permission, so do I , this illness make me so consider and remember me , always care to my body, and always do anything, no lazy, don't hurt anybody, make more peace aroud you. Have a high dream, more creatifly, hear another so much until finish so u can say what do you want. Never care how look down people see u, cause you are the decision of all and God give it to You special one.
